I hope everyone is doing well! I have been doing much better. My doctor prescribed something to help me sleep, as I was having nightmares and trouble sleeping. I tell you, I completely forgot what it was like to wake up alert and rested. I swear, it's been YEARS since I've actually wanted to get up in the morning. Seriously, this is amazing to me.
Anyways, I went to the library today to pick up some library books I had put on hold, and it was probably about 8:30pm. Only the front half of the parking lot has lights, but the back part doesn't (the parking lot is only 2 rows). I usually park in the back since I have two legs that are very capable of walking...but it was dark out.
I've never been afraid of the dark until now.
I have no windows in my bedroom, so it's pitch black when I sleep and I'm fine with that. But today it was nerve-wracking to step out into the parking lot to my car which was shaded. I'm pretty sure it was because when I was assaulted, she came at me up the stairs from behind in the dark. I haven't been able to be outside in the dark the same way.
I used to love being outside in the dark because only then can you see the stars...and like every other 10-year old I used to want to be an astronaut.Anyways, POSITIVELY, I can look at it like this. Maybe it's a good thing that I'm afraid to be in the dark; this will put me on guard and make me more aware of my surroundings which will also ensure my safety. Another way I can look at this is to be conscious of what my fear is rooted in, and rationally explain my fear; I think this makes it less scary. I can't let one (albeit, scary) incident abolish my love of the stars or the peace of moonlight.
I can get into the metaphorical side of light and dark, but I'll leave it at this: I must be the light that guides me through this period of darkness.
And one of my favourite quotations: "There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle." -Robert Alden
Love Always,
~Christine~
gud blog
ReplyDelete