Hello!
So I have a new goal. My new goal is to be happy. I'm going to do whatever and anything that makes me happy. That's it. I think everyone should do whatever it is that makes them happiest...most of the time lol. I mean, I don't want to say that in general, because to a serial killer that means killing people...and that's not good! But for the general population and those who are mostly sane...do whatever makes you happiest! I love music. I love the art of writing music, composing music, playing and singing music...I just love music. And I love feeling music...feeling it pour through my body, and just feeling it. Given this, I also love dancing. I'm not a "dancer" by any means, but I love moving my body to music. So I went to a belly-dancing class tonight. I've done it before a few years ago (you'll come to know that I've tried alot of stuff before lol) and liked it, but never really got into it. I had so much fun! And that's exactly what I needed. I needed to just have FUN, you know? And it made me happy. Watching my God-given hips (I think He may have given me more than my fair share, but I digress haha!) sway in perfect sync with the music was just amazing haha. So I think I'm going to sign up for more classes!
I think when we do things that make us truly happy, we can't be anything but positive. You can't be in the middle of something you absolutely love doing and are enjoying and think negative thoughts...it just doesn't happen. Any negative thoughts I harboured before the class completely dissipated while I was in it. So this is a new goal of mine, and I'm excited about it!
Now, I thought of including something about removing the things that don't make you happy from your life, but it's more complicated. Adding something positive results in more positive (+ and + = +). But removing something negative...also results in positive (- and - = +). However discussing the removal of something is really a negative thought. And I mean, realistically we all have to do things we don't like to do. So, I'm not going to talk about it. But if something is truly making you unhappy, either think of a way to do it so that it doesn't make you unhappy (ie: work) or just get rid of it from your life.
Life is too short to be miserable!! Don't waste precious time on things that make you miserable...this is also a recent revelation!
Thanks for reading!! xoxo
~Christine~
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Patience
Patience is a virtue.
And one I'm not familiar with lol
I've never had much patience for anything...whether it be for a Barbie when I was little, or to learn something new. I always want everything NOW. My mom used to say, "Good things come to those who wait" as a way of teaching me to have patience. And it has, because I probably would have gone stark-raving mad by now! haha
But I do find I'm praying to God for patience more often than I'd like. I volunteered tonight and one of the girls was in a bitchy mood. She's the one who really wants to learn how to play, and she was getting catty. I don't like telling her to mind her manners...I just told her to "chill" a few times which seemed to work, but she was frustrated, and then I was frustrated...so alot of praying was happening in my head to just have patience with her. I know she's capable of so much more, but I have to be careful not to push and to just be patient with her.
My education is another example. I want to go to medical school NOW....but that isn't happening now, and God only knows why. Everything happens for a reason, right? That's how I'm keeping positive about this. Things take their own time to develop, no matter how hard you try to push. And if you do push it, alot of the time you're just pulling it backwards or just fucking it up entirely. Sometimes you just need to back off and let things happen on their own. So, I'm going to take my own advice and just chill out...let things progress on their own...let life progress on its own. I will work hard and I WILL get into medical school. It will happen. I will go volunteering and be there for these girls, and things WILL progress. I just have to let it happen in its own time :)
Lots of love & thanks for reading!!
~Christine~ xoxo
And one I'm not familiar with lol
I've never had much patience for anything...whether it be for a Barbie when I was little, or to learn something new. I always want everything NOW. My mom used to say, "Good things come to those who wait" as a way of teaching me to have patience. And it has, because I probably would have gone stark-raving mad by now! haha
But I do find I'm praying to God for patience more often than I'd like. I volunteered tonight and one of the girls was in a bitchy mood. She's the one who really wants to learn how to play, and she was getting catty. I don't like telling her to mind her manners...I just told her to "chill" a few times which seemed to work, but she was frustrated, and then I was frustrated...so alot of praying was happening in my head to just have patience with her. I know she's capable of so much more, but I have to be careful not to push and to just be patient with her.
My education is another example. I want to go to medical school NOW....but that isn't happening now, and God only knows why. Everything happens for a reason, right? That's how I'm keeping positive about this. Things take their own time to develop, no matter how hard you try to push. And if you do push it, alot of the time you're just pulling it backwards or just fucking it up entirely. Sometimes you just need to back off and let things happen on their own. So, I'm going to take my own advice and just chill out...let things progress on their own...let life progress on its own. I will work hard and I WILL get into medical school. It will happen. I will go volunteering and be there for these girls, and things WILL progress. I just have to let it happen in its own time :)
Lots of love & thanks for reading!!
~Christine~ xoxo
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Confidence
Hello!
Alright, let's get into this business. There's this saying, "You fake it till you make it"...and I believe it's true.
I had a presentation to do Wednesday for my psychopharmacology class, and I'll be honest, I left it to the absolute last second. I finished it, but didn't have time to practice the delivery. So, I walk into class, chat with my classmates for a bit about school, men, and life in general lol and then I go up to the front of the class to do the presentation. I said a little prayer, told myself that I have a good vocabulary and should be able to come up with synonyms on the fly (prof hates it when we read the presentation) and winged (word??) it lol. AAAAAND the prof didn't tear me apart when I was finished like he did last time!! So that was a really good thing. So, moral of the story, I faked it, told myself I knew what I was doing, and it worked.
This is related to one of my earlier posts where I said that when you repeat something to yourself, you inevitably make it real. Like I've said before, this works for positive and negative things. Had I gone into that presentation thinking, "SHIT, how am I going to do this?! I'm totally gonna bomb it" I wouldn't have done nearly as well. So, I've come to the realization that I should be confident in all things I do. I usually am with things I can control, like my work, school, etc. lol. I mean, I can control myself, but I can't control the reactions of others. I can control what I look like, what I say, how I act...but how do I know how I'm received? This is where I lose confidence. And I don't want it to sound like I'm constantly monitoring all these things, because I don't. And I generally don't care what others think, but there are special circumstances where what a certain person(s) opinion of you matters (think prof/interviewer/boss/significant other), and that's where my confidence cracks.
But I've had a revelation. I can't control those things lol and I just have to accept it!! I need to know and believe that I'm an intelligent, accomplished, beautiful, awesome person...and I am!! I'm an incredible woman. I have purpose in this world. I rock. And you do also. Don't ever forget that :).
Lots of love & thanks for reading!
~Christine~ xoxo
Alright, let's get into this business. There's this saying, "You fake it till you make it"...and I believe it's true.
I had a presentation to do Wednesday for my psychopharmacology class, and I'll be honest, I left it to the absolute last second. I finished it, but didn't have time to practice the delivery. So, I walk into class, chat with my classmates for a bit about school, men, and life in general lol and then I go up to the front of the class to do the presentation. I said a little prayer, told myself that I have a good vocabulary and should be able to come up with synonyms on the fly (prof hates it when we read the presentation) and winged (word??) it lol. AAAAAND the prof didn't tear me apart when I was finished like he did last time!! So that was a really good thing. So, moral of the story, I faked it, told myself I knew what I was doing, and it worked.
This is related to one of my earlier posts where I said that when you repeat something to yourself, you inevitably make it real. Like I've said before, this works for positive and negative things. Had I gone into that presentation thinking, "SHIT, how am I going to do this?! I'm totally gonna bomb it" I wouldn't have done nearly as well. So, I've come to the realization that I should be confident in all things I do. I usually am with things I can control, like my work, school, etc. lol. I mean, I can control myself, but I can't control the reactions of others. I can control what I look like, what I say, how I act...but how do I know how I'm received? This is where I lose confidence. And I don't want it to sound like I'm constantly monitoring all these things, because I don't. And I generally don't care what others think, but there are special circumstances where what a certain person(s) opinion of you matters (think prof/interviewer/boss/significant other), and that's where my confidence cracks.
But I've had a revelation. I can't control those things lol and I just have to accept it!! I need to know and believe that I'm an intelligent, accomplished, beautiful, awesome person...and I am!! I'm an incredible woman. I have purpose in this world. I rock. And you do also. Don't ever forget that :).
Lots of love & thanks for reading!
~Christine~ xoxo
Monday, March 8, 2010
Fear
F...E....A....R....
I've been suffering from this for a long time. Fear of what?
I like to pretend I'm invincible...courageous...infallible...but I'm not. I like people to think I'm strong. And I am...for others. I'm there for everyone...how could I not be? So why am I not there for myself?
As you can probably gather, I'm in another one of my pensive states. I'm afraid of alot of things. But the one thing I'm the most afraid of is failure. Failure of what? Fail at what?
Fail at my plans (I love plans....it's how I live my life lol I plan everything out haha). Fail at my dreams, goals. Fail for others...fail myself. I'm afraid of this. I'm afraid I'm not good enough...that I set the bar too high and will never reach it...that I'll never reach anything. That I'll be stagnant.
I'm afraid to trust. I'm afraid to trust others with pieces of me...what if they take and don't give back? It's happened before...many times to many people.
But this is a fucking POSITIVITY blog. So let's turn this baby around!
The only way you'll know how far you can go is to try...to venture forth. If I set the bar high it's because I can envision it. If I can envision it, then I can envision a way to get over it...whether I get stilts or a damn pole vault. I need to stop thinking about things that may NOT happen, and start thinking about things that CAN happen...WILL happen. People don't succeed by thinking that they might fail...they succeed by thinking they will succeed (Imagine that! lol). So I need to stop fearing failure...if I fail, at least I've discovered one way to do it and avoid it in the future! I think it was Benjamin Franklin who said that he didn't fail 999 times to create the light bulb, but found 999 ways NOT to make one (?? or something like that! lol).
And trust. When to let go of fear and just...trust? The greatest risks reap the greatest rewards. We can't go through life in a constant safe zone afraid to get hurt...if you do that, you'll never get anywhere.
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal
This is profound.
Thanks for reading! xoxo
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