Fear

F...E....A....R....

I've been suffering from this for a long time. Fear of what?

I like to pretend I'm invincible...courageous...infallible...but I'm not. I like people to think I'm strong. And I am...for others. I'm there for everyone...how could I not be? So why am I not there for myself?

As you can probably gather, I'm in another one of my pensive states. I'm afraid of alot of things. But the one thing I'm the most afraid of is failure. Failure of what? Fail at what?

Fail at my plans (I love plans....it's how I live my life lol I plan everything out haha). Fail at my dreams, goals. Fail for others...fail myself. I'm afraid of this. I'm afraid I'm not good enough...that I set the bar too high and will never reach it...that I'll never reach anything. That I'll be stagnant.

I'm afraid to trust. I'm afraid to trust others with pieces of me...what if they take and don't give back? It's happened before...many times to many people.

But this is a fucking POSITIVITY blog. So let's turn this baby around!

The only way you'll know how far you can go is to try...to venture forth. If I set the bar high it's because I can envision it. If I can envision it, then I can envision a way to get over it...whether I get stilts or a damn pole vault. I need to stop thinking about things that may NOT happen, and start thinking about things that CAN happen...WILL happen. People don't succeed by thinking that they might fail...they succeed by thinking they will succeed (Imagine that! lol). So I need to stop fearing failure...if I fail, at least I've discovered one way to do it and avoid it in the future! I think it was Benjamin Franklin who said that he didn't fail 999 times to create the light bulb, but found 999 ways NOT to make one (?? or something like that! lol).

And trust. When to let go of fear and just...trust? The greatest risks reap the greatest rewards. We can't go through life in a constant safe zone afraid to get hurt...if you do that, you'll never get anywhere.

F alse

E vidence

A ppearing

R eal

This is profound.

Thanks for reading! xoxo

~Christine~