Confidence

Hello!

Alright, let's get into this business. There's this saying, "You fake it till you make it"...and I believe it's true.

I had a presentation to do Wednesday for my psychopharmacology class, and I'll be honest, I left it to the absolute last second. I finished it, but didn't have time to practice the delivery. So, I walk into class, chat with my classmates for a bit about school, men, and life in general lol and then I go up to the front of the class to do the presentation. I said a little prayer, told myself that I have a good vocabulary and should be able to come up with synonyms on the fly (prof hates it when we read the presentation) and winged (word??) it lol. AAAAAND the prof didn't tear me apart when I was finished like he did last time!! So that was a really good thing. So, moral of the story, I faked it, told myself I knew what I was doing, and it worked.

This is related to one of my earlier posts where I said that when you repeat something to yourself, you inevitably make it real. Like I've said before, this works for positive and negative things. Had I gone into that presentation thinking, "SHIT, how am I going to do this?! I'm totally gonna bomb it" I wouldn't have done nearly as well. So, I've come to the realization that I should be confident in all things I do. I usually am with things I can control, like my work, school, etc. lol. I mean, I can control myself, but I can't control the reactions of others. I can control what I look like, what I say, how I act...but how do I know how I'm received? This is where I lose confidence. And I don't want it to sound like I'm constantly monitoring all these things, because I don't. And I generally don't care what others think, but there are special circumstances where what a certain person(s) opinion of you matters (think prof/interviewer/boss/significant other), and that's where my confidence cracks.

But I've had a revelation. I can't control those things lol and I just have to accept it!! I need to know and believe that I'm an intelligent, accomplished, beautiful, awesome person...and I am!! I'm an incredible woman. I have purpose in this world. I rock. And you do also. Don't ever forget that :).

Lots of love & thanks for reading!

~Christine~ xoxo