Two-faced math

Hello!

I'm a procrastinator. You see it in almost everything I do. When waking up, I procrastinate getting my ass out of bed. When I have an assignment due, I wait until the last week, day...sometimes even hour to hand it in. They say that you accomplish 90% of your task in the last 10% of time you were allotted to complete it. And I believe it! However, if we never had due dates, I don't think anyone would accomplish anything. And I don't mean due dates that are imposed on us, but also those we impose on ourselves. For example, committing to pay your credit card off by this date; completing this assignment by this date, etc. And then you do what it takes to get that goal accomplished.

I'm struggling with completing a math assignment. And this really bothers me. It's a first year class, and I have NEVER had an issue with math...EVER. From elementary school to Calculus, math has been my friend and has always come easily. So I'm signing up for courses, and I figure to raise the good 'ol GPA I could take a math class. Already did calculus, so I look through the course list and see, "Vector Geometry and Linear Algebra" and sign up for it the day before the revision period ends. I figure, piece of cake...triangles...trig...no problem. Last Sunday I actually open my notes to start on an assignment due tomorrow...and that is the hardest freaking shit I have ever seen in my life!! This should not be classified in MATH, but in PHILOSOPHY!!! There are no numbers ANYWHERE!! It's all relations! Like, if line AB is half the size of BC, then prove blah blah blah about AC...WTF?! So, I'm really struggling because it's not like following rules and numbers like math is SUPPOSED to be, but more like the philosophy behind it all...which like I've said, should be called "Philosophy of Mathematics" and neatly classified in the department of Philosophy. Not to mention that we briefly touched on it in grade 10 I think...that's like over 10 years ago!! So, I'm all stressed out, and my hair is awry and my face is flushed because I'm so FRUSTRATED...I'm still on section 1.2...So I was going to drop the course because I don't need it, and it's stressing me out and making me doubt my intelligence.

But then I paused. Took a deep breath. Cleared my head. Thought. How can this class be a positive thing in my life? What's positive about this class? If I slow down and actually read the notes instead of skim them and think I know everything (which I'll admit I'm guilty of doing...) I should understand it. And if I still don't understand it, there will be resources elsewhere I can use (public library, university library, that professor I'm paying to teach the class...lol). And then I think, I'm going to be a doctor...what the hell kind of physician am I going to be that I don't even have the balls to tackle Vector geometry and Linear algebra?!?!?! Not one I'd want to see, that's for sure!! haha So I've decided to stay in the course to challenge myself. I mean, how great will it be to work my ass off for this and score an A+?!?!?! Really fucking great, I think :).

Thanks for reading!

~Christine~