What is it to be positive?

Hello!

Today was interesting. Well, not really, but different from my usual Saturday. I don't normally work on Saturdays, but I worked for 5 hours which was awesome because weekends are double time :) yippee!! Anyways, I mostly had to call back people who left voicemail messages, and one of them was very difficult. Like, antagonistic, argumentative, uncooperative...ugh...he makes my blood pressure rise just thinking about him. He's Portuguese to boot! So when I was finished with him, I ranted and raved (all the while explicitly describing where he can shove certain phallic-looking objects...to which one person proclaimed that I'm a horrible individual...but I digress), and forcefully announced, "I hate Portuguese men!...I hate all men!" Not very positive, I know. I will get to the definition of what exactly positive means in a bit. So, I said this whilst waiting for my supervisor to finish something up, and she turns to me and goes, "No you don't. You were all hot and bothered by those paramedics yesterday." And she was right. I don't hate men...even Portuguese ones lol. I actually adore men (as frustrating and impossible they are sometimes lol). Anyways, my point of this little recap is that I think it's OK to rant and let off some steam because, to me, it allows the negative emotion you have inside you to escape, which will then allow everything to balance out. I said right from the beginning that I'm not a rainbows and bunnies and everything is wonderful kind of person. I have a dry and sarcastic sense of humour...one friend has even called me witty! lol

So, here's where I've been contemplating what being positive really is. It seems as though there are two ways of looking at it. The first is to "negate"; this includes words like, "not" "without" "-less" etc. The second is the qualitative meaning of a word. For me to say "I hate" there is no negative term in that statement...technically it's an affirmation. However, its quality is extremely negative. A weaker version of "I hate" would be to say "Do not like"...which is negating the term "like". So how would I express this emotion? I can't deny it exists...I can honestly say I really did not care for the individual I had to deal with today. Do I ignore that it happened? I had a coworker behind me tell me to just let it go, and even have a drink when I got home (I had two when out for dinner tonight haha). Maybe that's something I have to learn...I'm not one to just "let it go"...to me that's just like giving up. I like to figure things out, and have solutions and such. So what do I do? This is what I did: I took a deep breath...crossed him off people to call, then continued working. And thought, "I'm just going to continue with other people and move forward." (which is positive, no?) So I still have to figure out how to deal with these negative emotions. I tend to bottle things up and then they explode weeks, sometimes even months later...sometimes, I let things drag on and fester. So this is something I have to figure out: how to be positive about negative emotions.

Oh I just thought of something! How about, "I like other people much better than I like him"? That's positive, right? Wow, I think this may actually be possible...I was starting to doubt whether this being positive thing would actually work, and it looks like writing the blog is working! Woot woot! *happy dance*. So it looks like there is another thing I have to figure out about myself, but I still have 355 days to go.

Thanks for reading!! :)

~Christine~